Anonymous lovers? No, now revised and so evolved to ‘Fate at Dawn.’ Fate is magical for it works like magic. Many times faith trigger miracles, but miracles sometimes happen in the absence of faith? Hmmmmm, I call that mother of all miracles. Did you remember that you reluctantly went for that job interview and forgot about it completely for you felt it was another basket trying to capture and marry well-water! But lo and behold two weeks later you got the job! That’s a miracle in the absence of faith! It has happened to many of us if not all of us at one time or the other.
He was Kayode Oyekunle from Abeokuta, Nigeria. ‘Abe okuta’ a Yoruba terminology literally means ‘Under the rock,’ the ancient city got its name from the fact that it had diverse overhead rocks interlocking and interspersing its major landscapes. And rocks became the trademark and logo of Abeokuta.
Kayode belongs to the Egba Ethnic group whose favourite meal was and still is lafun, the dutiful wife of the Egbas but not without a staunch rival, amala another staple amongst the Yorubas in Southwest Nigeria. Only an expert in conflict resolution would be able to settle the rift and rivalry between the two food items. History generally and the oral version in particular has it that rocks were not just landmarks for Abeokuta people but fortresses because the inhabitants at the time used them as hideouts during the various wars and battles that menaced the town.
Kayode had an unfaithful, promiscuous mother who sees men as breakfast cereal and their earnings as the tantalizing dessert. She once infected her husband (Kayode’s father) with an STI. She was as tall as palm tree (model and beauty-queen of trees) yet she was just 5’4 but strong for a woman. She often engages her husband in fisticuffs though most times black eye; swollen jaws were the souvenirs she takes away from those fights. Nonetheless, what she lacked relatively in physical strength she made-up in tongue. She was an expert at tongue-lashing and often bruised her husband’s self-esteem and usually turns his ego to rags, yes smelly rags that cockroaches and rats can’t wait to date and bedmate.
Kayode’s sister was another soul who was salt in the sore of her boyfriends and her only fiancé, Deolu. To add insult to injury she once destroyed his electronic gadgets, broke his car windscreen and was about to set him and his apartment ablaze when policemen arrested her. She had locked him in his room but he alerted the police immediately. “Let me roast him and turn him to mince meat for maggot. I’m not an arsonist but a humanist. He gossips more than Google please let me kill him to prevent him from spreading the rumour-virus to our neighbours.”
“Shut up, woman! By the time ten-thousand ‘scorpion-mosquitoes’ bite, no sting you for ten-thousand minutes, you’ll know the obesity and weight of your offence,” said one officer. “I sure say your name na Apata because you get liver to yearn opata? “You’ll stink worse than skunk by the time we throw you and the devil in you into prison,” exhaled another. “She’s suffering from the hangover of her saayo, yes ‘beercapades’ that’s why the Jezebel of our time had the guts to raise her decibel,” voiced the third officer, a senior officer. That was the end of her only promising relationship. Alas, she was in and out of relationships and jails at least thrice in a year.
Kayode once read about a woman who poured acid on her husband because he hugged her best friend in her presence. As a boy he had heard the story of a housewife who stabbed her husband to death because he had no money to give her for groceries. The wife claimed she sent him to heaven to go borrow money from God and come back to earth to give her part of it for their domestic needs. How ridiculous! As such he detested women with passion; disliked them with obsession and actually feared them. Yes he had phobia for women but wouldn’t want to come to terms with that fact.
She was Amma Fonda, her dad was Canadian, her mother Ghanaian. Her dad was an expatriate based in Ghana but a notorious wife-beater who beats his wife with or without provocations. He was such a lazy and irresponsible man that he strips his shirts whenever he wants to beat his wife. Many times he punched the living day lights out of her and many a time she was saved by doctors. Many times he had asked for her forgiveness and countless times he was forgiven. She says that nobody ever divorced in her family and she won’t be the first to do that. Alas was that not foolhardiness and ignorance rolled into one? How unfortunate!
Amma’s teacher, Mr. Simple was a bully. He abuses, threatens, maltreats students anyhow and Amma transferred those ill-feelings to men. She was too sentimental and often says that men are the problems of mankind. “Rapists, terrorists, arsonists, kidnappers, paedophiles, hired assassins are all men. If I could have my way I would kill all of them.” She scratched her itching hair angrily and continued, “But if I kill them it means I’d extinct humanity because procreation would be impossible. Oh, men are necessary devils!”
Kayode and Amma at different times and places decided never to date or marry.
She dislikes and hates men! She couldn’t help her mum for fear of being implicated or have her dad jailed so she decided to run away from her challenges. She went to Canada for her first degree. Kayode also decided to distance himself from his mother so he pursued and got admission to study Law in Canada. By providence they became classmates. One day Kayode was in the school bus for they were going on an excursion. He noticed that a male student was sitting beside him but he never knew the student had left so he kept talking while reading a journal and she kept nodding in response.
Because he had feminine voice she thought him female; he thought her male because one was sitting there initially. Amma made up her mind to make ‘her’ her bosom friend so she decided to look at the wonderful lady beside her – only to behold a man! She looked into his mouth perhaps a lady was hiding inside but saw none. He noticed that ‘he’ was peering at him and decided to look at ‘him’ only to see a female student beside him. He was surprised! “What a miracle,” he shouted but in his mind.
Both of them looked at each other with disdainful eyes. Disgust! She hissed and made to leave for another seat but all sorts of bums were resting on and kissing the various seats so there was no vacant seat not even a microscopic one. He stopped communicating with her at once but both of them had developed soft spots for each other and their subconscious minds had registered it. They couldn’t do without seeing each other for they were classmates and proximity is the strongest weapon of Cupid. The nearer his targets are to each other the higher his chances of success.
She never knew she had fallen in love with him until he had an accident and was hospitalised. All his classmates had visited him in the hospital at least twice except Amma. They never knew why and decided to confront her. They had a heated argument with her and she eventually left. Of course she went alone and unknown to her it was on Valentine’s Day. Incidentally Kayode was to be operated on that day. Dr. Faraday thinking Amma to be his fiancée gave her a document to append for him to be operated on. She did sign at least to save his life. That was it!
Thence she began to see him as her boyfriend and it wasn’t long before she began to care for him and since hearts have feelings he responded and before he was discharged they had fallen in love with each other and behaved like they knew each other for decades. They both consulted psychotherapists and were cured of their maladies. They became best of friends, confidants, classmates and soul-mates of course.
Soignée describes her fashion sense; debonair was his so they were a perfect match. They became the hottest item on campus. When you see cheetah, don’t bother Google with your importunate queries nor stress yourself searching for speed because they are inseparable. To see her amiable partner just fire some shots into the air you’ll see him emerge to rescue her. Fire and heat are Siamese twins for they’re coupled together same with Amma and Kayode.
Many of their classmates addressed them as Roju from Romeo and Juliet, some call them Jack-Rose remember the two lovers (Jack and Rose) of that blockbuster movie, TITANIC? On a candid note was it love, lust or crush that was between Jack and Rose? Maybe, maybe not but time would have gossiped if they eventually marry but they never did! Some friends simply addressed Kayode and Amma as Fly & Flower, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten butterflies and flowers are lovers and best of friends!
They finally graduated; in fact they came out tops! Back home in Nigeria, they worked together in a law firm, “Aba Aba & Co. Five years later, they set up their own law firm, “KAM Legal Practitioners & Advocates,” and they got married shortly after.
He was 28 and she 27. Their wedding was lively, lovely and their home was super and superb! In weddings and festivities, Africans embrace, advertise and celebrate their cultures exceptionally well. Women dress to the nines – what with their smartly-knitted native attires adorned with precious stones and classy shoes! They appear like queens (who they truly are) fresh from the palace. Their made-in-heaven geles (head gears) coupled with exotic smiles and warm exchange of pleasantries, fragrant events. Indeed women make life captivating; men make it interesting! Men don’t wait to collect the baton for they come out resplendent. You can count those of them dressed in suits or corporate wears on your finger tips. Good for us! Our weddings are colourful, beautiful, gorgeous and fabulous. Many Alaga Ijokos and Alaga Iduros (female compeers representing the bride and groom’s family respectively) are versed in our traditions, vast in our history and heritage. Yeah, call them walking encyclopedia of the African culture and traditions and go home with silverware.
I don’t know who was more romantic. On a Valentine’s Day Amma had suggested a moonlit dinner; on her birthday he had suggested a candlelit-bubble bath. All in all they were romantically creative, inventive and adventurous.
Kayode and Amma – the digital age Romeo and Juliet!