WHAT NEXT AFTER THE ‘NEST’ HAD FALLEN?
Healthy intimate- relationship is a nest for it gives us rest and respite, so if the nest falls what next? Vacations! Yeah, let your heart go on a sabbatical! It’s time to heal, rest, relax, refresh and eventually relight!
- Don’t be too desperate to matriculate into another relationship-institution but if you do the prayers of a praying mantis may not save you from another heartbreak. Expulsion! If your ‘ex’ treated you badly prepare in advance to cremate or bury it. In other words don’t divulge the details to your future partner. As one in the discipline that studies human behaviour, I can assure you that it’s self-defeatist. If your ‘ex’ beats you … keep mute. Don’t give your future partner an option, a license to treat you as such and if he doesn’t he may not give his best after all he knows he’s done better than your ex. Most times people treat, react or respond to us the way someone, or others do.
- Cleansing takes a while. Your damaged heart, injured mind and bruised self-esteem need to heal and breathe again. Therefore add values to your life. Meet new people and relate well with them, think about the wonderful things people say about you, go through the beautiful SMSs on your phone…. Heal completely before getting involved with someone else. Don’t try to prove a point to your ex by dabbling into another relationship quite soon. Intimate relationship is a delicate issue so don’t gamble with your life proving a point.
- If you find it pretty difficult to let go and move on, focus on the negative things you endured in your past relationship instead of the positive. Nobody is perfect, we all have our shortcomings so think back on those things that challenged you in that affair. You need to help yourself forge ahead after all you’ve got just one life to live and that life itself is short yet time is fast.
- When a ‘promising’ relationship comes to an end, one is embittered but don’t forget to learn the lesson, bitter most times but a renewed heart and refreshed mind like honey sweetens. There are two major players in intimate relationships therefore most times both have their individual faults; so ask yourself what you did wrong? Were you overbearing? Was it jealousy, greed, deep-seated pride? Search your heart, clean your mind and be a better, brand new person. A big investment for your future partner and then you’ll finally say, “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” if you were not really at fault.