Victims of Domestic Violence (II).

Hands that embraced in love shouldn’t engage in violence. (social media)

Women are natural linguist and their mouths manufacture words ceaselessly and this usually give them an edge in misunderstandings in marriage. Though some men are skilled in the game as well but when a man receives too much insults that he could bear he could be tempted to revenge and that’s where the problems lies.

Usually men are the culprits of domestic violence and ideally women are guilty of same when they are violent to their domestic staff but often this category go unreported and ignored, probably because the injuries sustained may not be too pronounced or the helpless nature of the poor maid. But both versions are bad and evil!

Now a woman who keeps, bullying and tormenting her hubby may continue to have a ‘field day’ until … the man begins to have phobia for her – the beginning of the end of the woman’s dominance.

Now if the man didn’t get to that level of having goose bumps on sighting or hearing her voice, the woman may continue to harass and embarrass him but the day he feels, “I’m a man, I married this woman … so why should I fear her?” that’s the day domestic violence begins and only waiting for time to be expressed and experienced though the woman had been fanning the embers for long.

Now if this woman grabs his clothes or insult him afterwards she might end up having his palms pasted on her face – but it needs not get to this level.

Now the day the man begins to feel why should I fear this woman or allow her to continue to destroy my personal effects I must teach her a bitter lesson to make her realize her folly laced with impunity that’s the day he ought to bolt his door and bolt away faster than Usain Bolt. Yeah separation and perhaps subsequent divorce.

I used to read the articles of a columnist, a victim of domestic violence who was religiously championing the cause but from the pattern of her choice of words in her articles et al I discovered she was violent too. Now it could be that the violence she had been exposed to overtime had made her violent … after all what you see forms a seed in you or probably because she was violent as a person she ended up being constant victim of domestic violence – if this was the case then the woman’s husband might enjoy a violence-free (second) marriage if he was truly calm and married the right partner.

Analyze the behaviours of people (men and women alike) who claim they were victims of domestic violence and you might have the feelings they were violent maybe calm and reserved but don’t conclude because everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

Now in a situation whereby a victim of violence is narrating his or her experience and (s)he’s being violent with words to her audience whom she perceived had different opinions in their minds then such may need intervention before embarking on the cause of fighting domestic violence.

A violent person shouldn’t be at the vanguard of such a noble cause – you don’t seek the services of Mr. Fire to stop fire but fire-service brigades!

In rounding off, say no to violence by not giving and/or taking!

 If ‘yes’ then the journey which starts at the motor-park of love should lead not to violence but peace, joy, romance and fulfilment. (DCIM132MEDIA)


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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.

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