Sadist Spouse on the Spotlight.

Beware of a spouse who source pleasure in being your stressor.

Sadists are people who source pleasure from the pains of others which makes them delight in hurting and inflicting pains on people. It could be emotional, physical, sexual, social … in a nutshell pains of others are undoubtedly their gains.

However, in reality sadists express their hate, bad blood, jealousy … not to all but a particular person or individuals at close contact which could be biological and/or physical contact. The proximity makes their negative impact massively felt by the innocent recipient.  

But sadism is an offshoot of hate and if it’s a man (husband) that is afflicted with this malady he’s likely to target and inflict pains on his wife by abusing her economically, mentally, socially and even spiritually.

If it’s the woman she’d turn her home to hell and make her hubby feel the fire of hell while on earth. She would likely deny him sex and when he dates another woman outside, she blackmails him, fights off his mistress(es) embarrass him in public and may even go as far as reporting him to his boss … may start dating his boss to peak his (hubby) anxiety, raise his blood pressure and possibly get him sacked or retired unceremoniously.

If it’s the man he might try as much as possible to stop his wife from being independent and once she becomes dependent, he’s got unlimited access to weapons to use against her. He’d manipulate and blackmail her seamlessly, endlessly.

The success of his poor wife is his failure, her bliss, his bile, her peak, his ebb, her health, his ill-health … in another context (wife as sadist) she uses all weapons accessible to her, even spiritual if she’s got ‘wings’ and flies or patronize people who have spiritual powers.  

Now back to the case of the hubby who is a sadist. The more his wife depends on him the more he colonizes, exploits, abuse, accuse and advances his evil in her.

He’d never want her to become employed much less gainfully employed and if family intervene prompting him to get his wife a job – by setting her up in business or sourcing ‘9 to5’ for her he might oblige but after several pleads, pestering, cajoling … and then use the avenue to torment, blackmail, intimidate and abuse her the more.

Many spouses suffer economic, emotional, spiritual abuse in the hands of their partner. The one who abuses you economically will replicate same emotionally. “I’ve spent all I’d on you yet no breakthrough in your business do you want to turn me to a beggar?” and may go about broadcasting such to the world.

He could give her money to start business and use all weapons available to him including stealing … to prevent her from succeeding so that she’d continue to depend on him and he will continue to stress, manage and manipulate her life, health and success.

He might try to ‘help’ again in the future but also working against her to prevent her from succeeding … and it becomes merry-go-round. It may get to the stage that people would begin to blame the wife for being a gold-digger, spendthrift, lazy woman … and the man keeps smiling and enjoying himself.

He sees himself as smart for successfully fooling  everyone. His friends and family might even advise him to divorce her and get a serious wife who won’t be a well of liability but mine of opportunities to him. How pathetic! Hmmmm what a life!

This sadist is skilled in blindfolding all, and as such perceptions, opinions that emanate from this would be fake, false and faulty. Same way some diseases ‘blindfold’ our researchers and remains incurable even till date but only for a while and as the Holy books say Truth is freedom – freedom from ignorance, bondage, boredom, mistakes, hell, ill-health, poverty ….

Ideally the man should be the breadwinner of his family and his wife as support-base but if the wife is the sadist and successfully usurps that position from him then the situation becomes worse-off and the society will label and paste diverse stickers on the personality of the poor and helpless man.

Derogatory names like Sissy, Akilapa, ole, alapa ma’sise, NFA: No Future Ambition meanwhile the man under question had done his very best yet the canker-worm in his ‘worse-half’ continues to feed on his labour and his sweat never turns to success till ….

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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.

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