I accessed on social media some days back where a Nigerian entertainment celeb was quoted from her social media … she had said economic and emotional abuse are also domestic violence and I saw the need to substantiate this argument.
Some people (maybe many) may not file these abuses into the category of domestic violence but in reality they are. In fact many phenomena that many may not see as domestic violence are – the menace is multifaceted you know.
The bone of chicken is part of chicken; the bone of chicken is chicken! My trip from Abuja to Kaduna starts from the motor-park in theory but in practice it actually starts from my house. The steps I took in exiting my apartment to the strides on the street … to finally get to the motor-park. This will make sense now if I was to drive to Kaduna then the journey starts from my building.
Danladi prevents his wife, Asabe from working yet he stops all avenues through which she could source money. In fact he blackmailed her rich brothers for sending money to her and they finally stopped.
For the umpteenth time he said, “When you keep sending money to a married woman regardless of the biological link between you, you’re indirectly telling the whole world that her husband isn’t responsible ….” At other times he reported them to their wives and they endorsed his argument and even used the tool of blackmail themselves till their husbands finally stopped.
Danladi took his mischief, insecurity and insensitivity further by going to pay his children’s school fees and driving their housemaid, Hauwa to the market to source all they need and Asabe detested Hauwa for this but said and did nothing.
Heart attack don’t just happen … when a coronary artery in the heart is blocked blood and oxygen … supply to vital parts of the heart are cut-off resulting in heart attack.
Now when a man blocks all channels through which his wife could source money she automatically suffers ‘mind attack’. Economic abuse is a voiceless domestic violence that triggers another – emotional violence and finally the real or perceived domestic violence gatecrashes into such homes
Danladi closed all channels for Asabe to make money but left one open – extramarital affairs but he was conscious of this and gives her stipend – #20,000 but another may not come in the next 3 months.
Now don’t forget a penniless woman has been socially ostracized and a angry and desperate wife is a dynamite ready to trigger domestic violence. Revenge. Asabe might engage in extramarital affairs not necessarily because of money but to avenge her hubby’s inhumanity to her.
Now if Danladi catches her red-handed he might go violent and sends his fist on errands to bring back blood, swollen jaws … and all these turn to scars and distasteful souvenirs. And again if Danladi hears that Asabe is into extramarital affairs he could go violent as well, though he never caught her.