The 80-20 Rule of Marriage.

Ghanaian hip-hop act Kwame Nsiah-Apau (aka Okyeame Kwame) with his bosom friend and wife, Annica Nsiah-Apau. (image credit:gc)

The 80-20 Rule of Marriage is a theory that highlights the fact that you don’t get all your desires in your partner in marriage and focusing on the loophole (20%) of your partner makes you crave the 20% that’s missing which makes you feel it’s 80% and going after such puts you at risk of losing the 80 … and you finally discover that you left 80 for 20. How pathetic!

In a nutshell the rule highlights the fact that couples sometimes ignore the massive strengths (80%) of their partners and focus on the shortcomings (20%) thereby making a mountain out of a molehill and losing out in the end.

Maybe you’ve got a wonderful wife with lots of pluses but one minor minus. Maybe she’s Miss Owambe yes she likes events too much; perhaps she’s flirtatious but you knew before you married her that she wasn’t promiscuous.

Perhaps she perceives it as being friendly, adorable and sociable. Now don’t hype it, better still peak her self-esteem and self-worth by highlighting her strengths and editing her weakness. Cherish her in words and actions for there could be an underlying issue(s) making her lead a flirtatious lifestyle though she might not perceive as one.

A flirtatious (but not promiscuous) woman could be likened to a housewife who prepares dog stew for her dog-eating hubby but may never use same pot to cook any other meal let alone eat for she detests dog meats and see as sacred.

But overall, it’s better, safer to distance oneself from temptations. 

Madam maybe your darling is loving, caring, doting but doesn’t remember your birthday and anniversary let alone pamper you with gifts, why not focus on his 80% and ignore the 20% instead of running after the 20 and losing the 80? Better still come up with creative ways to let him remember without actually reminding him.

However it goes don’t turn the earthworm to anaconda. 

In rounding off, I used the image (pictured above) because it supports the issue I’m highlighting.

Yes it shows couple expressing love, affection and intimacy as well as their love of fitness, health and wellness not to talk of friendship, camaraderie and companionship but has one blemish which the adorable couple may not even see as such and I chose to ignore because of the many strengths the picture expressed as well as the quality of the image:

’80-20 Rule of Marriage’ instructs us to ignore the insignificant and highlight the basic.


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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.

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