VAW (Voices at Weddings) #LAB 2010 (II)

At weddings eyes feast on brides and grooms and item 7 feeds mouths.

Lara Weds Bala #LAB 2010. Continues From last week

Bala was a graduate of Chemistry from (ABU) Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria Kaduna State and was observing his National Youth Service at Niger State when and where he met Lara a graduate of Music and alumnus of the Polytechnic Ibadan also serving in Niger State.

Bala wasn’t tall nor short, not bad-looking neither was he good-looking. He was multi-lingual and speaks Hausa, Fulani, Gwari, Arabic and English fluently.

Lara on the other hand was tall for a woman, blessed with gap-tooth, dimples and licorice gum.  And both of them were of the same height. They were both Muslims as well. Lara was fair-skinned, Bala coffee-coloured. Bala was an extrovert, Lara introvert!

At the outset, Bala labeled himself an ‘ex-extrovert’ just to get along with Lara, who says she can’t, won’t marry an extrovert because she was introverted by nature.

Voices at their #LAB 2010:

Alhaji. Olona Onilegogoro (bride’s dad) talking to her boss (Chief. Alade) who doubles as the chairman of the occasion.

Alhaji Onilegogoro: (smiling) oga mi, that’s my daughter, the bride!

Chief. Alade: I know nooooooow! Oh what an angel, oyinbo Onilegogoro, she must have inherited her beauty from her mum.

Onilegogoro: (laughing sheepishly) oga mi o are you saying … saying …. that … that

Alade: Man, you’re cute, not that. She’s female, your wife is female.

Onilegogoro: But girls resemble their dads. Halima is the female version of Aliko Dangote. Girls take after their dads in looks but grab bumps from their mums. I hope you’re not trying to outsmart me oga mi o!

Alade: True in some cases but not in all. Reception hall, Onile not office nor home, reception hall!

Mallam Abubakar (Bala’s dad) talking with his younger brother Yinusa

Abubakar: Yinusa, Bala your nephew is now a big boooooy! A true adult now. I remember one Eid-el-Kabir when you came to celebrate Sallah with us, I think Bala was in his third year in high school then and you’d asked him what he wanted to study in college and I remember him saying ‘Drugs’ and we all laughed … thinking back now did you know he was right and we were all wrong? Or maybe 50-50. 50 to him; 50 to us! Chemistry and Pharmacy are disciplines which research drugs you know. However he flopped big time when he said, “As a student in Drugs Department I’ll make sure Nigeria begins to export drugs to the UK and the US.”

Yinusa: So true. He’s a chemist, I’m a pharmacist. I can’t recollect the story but the one that’s so memorable like the Mexican soap of the 90s The Rich Also Cry was when I asked him how many wives he’d love to marry as an adult and he said half! I was taken aback and asked him what he meant but did you know that till date he never told me maybe after his honeymoon I’ll tease him and stylishly ask him what he meant.

Abubakar: (laughing out loud) I never knew that … you didn’t even tell me … but when he was an undergraduate few years back he’d said he’d not marry a woman who sits at home 24/7 doing nothing. He said people of older generations see men as sole breadwinners and women full homemakers and so these people perceive men who’re jobless and lazy as half men and career women half-women and they become complete only when they fully embrace their traditional roles.

Yinusa: Oh I see; I guess that’s what he was saying then. Yeah it’s the traditional role of men to protect and provide for their families and women to nurture and take care of same. However things have changed but a woman shouldn’t be too busy pursuing her career or business that she turns to a modern day husband who’s hardly available and a man shouldn’t be too available to turn to a housewife! There should be moderation.

Abubakar: A woman should have a nice job but not one that makes her unavailable to herself let alone her family and a man should have good job but not one that turns him to an alien in his own home.

Yinusa: Hmmm, that’s true you know!

Lara (the bride) was the home music teacher of Petrolina when the former was an undergraduate at the Polytechnic, Ibadan


(photo credit: social media)

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