Road Palaver II (Rolls-Royce Mode)

Nigerian musician Kcee rolling with Rolls-royce phantom. (social media pic)

The Rolls-royce indirectly became a blessing to baba and his family. And baba bragged when he got home that night, “Olori, I’m tired of dry life, dry fish, dry pepper … so buy alaran fish … we’re eating eba with okro not alasepo o but GRA-okro this night!”

Olori looked at baba, her hubby as if he said he wanted to start a career in hip-hop music and managed to voice, “E n l’ala!”

The queen (olori) saw her hubby as a dreamer which she voiced (words in italics) and baba proved to her he wasn’t Biblical Joseph. He threw #1,200 on her laps and voiced, “When I said I don’t have #100 on me last night I was pretending … Aromolaran is olowondara!”

And the romance snoring in olori came alive. She smiled and voiced, “Bale mi olowo-orimi atata okurin lada eja alaran must sleep in our pot tonight …. Ah my chairman is good at making money with his driving skills!”

When the rolls-royce got to Iwo Road, Ibadan one yahoo-yahoo boy spotted and smiled, “My next car Insha Allah!”

As it was moving towards toll-gate three female friends waiting for cheap ride popularly called sole saw the beauty-queen gliding along the road. 

One of the ladies (Shukura) voiced, “I must marry a rich man no matter what … money neva come you say omo-pupa wait omo oyinbo  is loading …!” 

And her friend Shalewa fired back at her, “You better don’t run after money get your degree, work and make money. What am I even saying? How dare you desire to be dare you don’t need money jare. Shukura, aya shoemaker you better settle for the kobo your future husband, the shoemaker will be bringing.”

And the statement made Shukura angry and her blood boiled but Morenike came to her rescue, “Olodo, not aya shoemaker ‘I’m shoemaker’ ask Davido the music sensation. Now every Shukura had turned to aya shoemaker oga o!”

Shalewa regarded Morenike with eyes ascending and descending her body (Morenike) and finally voiced, “Eko e re, it’s aya shoemaker not I’m shoemaker!” And Shukura exploded in laughter gave Morenike high five and later voiced satirically “It’s I’m carpenter no I’m wine-tapper not aya shoemaker aya ko aya ni!”

When the rolls-royce got to Mowe, Ogun State, one commercial bus driver saw and hissed, “One of the thieves with title – contractors!” One of his passengers who felt he had seen a white man at the back seat added his voice, “No, this one is a European I saw him. Perhaps the expatriate is returning from Abuja!” ….

When the car got to Ojota two teenagers (18 and 19) out on a date saw it and one of them trumpetted, “Babe I’ll get you that car someday.” And the babe, sorry young lady flashed some white objects, I guess it’s teeth in English. Then a bus which was about 90% yellow and 10% black came along with the conductor shouting “Oshodi, Oshodi, Oshodi ….” The dates gestured to the conductor … and the conductor opened the door so the bus swallowed the two young lovers.

The car, same car became subject of discourse in the bus … “It’s fairly used!” one voice exploded.

“Brand new, 2017 model,” another followed closely.

“I’m a spare-parts dealer and I insist it’s tokunbo!” – coming from the one that started the conversation.

And the one arguing with him immediately went mute but he’s got an ally. And the voice of the ‘soldier’ joined the traffic, “No it’s brand new! This car can’t be tokunbo na over #60m My uncle is a car dealer and I’m in his showroom 24/7!”

The male version of the lovers planning to buy rolls royce for his boo didn’t join the strictly male voice-traffic and some minutes later a man in his late 60s finally voiced:

“Boys, let’s have peace in this bus. Forget the car … it’s Monday … work, make your own money or discuss the engineering part of it not whether it was used or not. Do Americans or Britons buy or import fairly-used cars they make cars except they buy from one another! Use your brains let’s advance our society too!”

NB:

Sole are commercial buses without motor-parks which pick passengers on the road and drop them at various towns along their main route.

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