The Issue of Sexual Harassment.

Music video of soldier where Falz and Simi went ‘head-to-head.’

According to dictionary.com the first meaning of harass is ‘To disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute.’

And by extension sexual harassment (in a layman’s definition) is undue and prolong stress from verbal and/or non-verbal expressions anchored on another’s sexuality. 

We all have different experiences and expectations in love and life and what pisses you of could make another miss her favourite soap on TV, to experience same.

Sexual harassment takes place where and when one is uncomfortable, anxious and miffed about the sensuous idea and ideal the other party is expressing toward another.

Now some women’s sensually-related self-esteem (which is part of overall self-esteem) peak when they know they are sexually desirable, and many times such welcome sexually-explicit comments from members of the opposite gender which you as a person might find very vulgar and offensive but such may actually feel good, and directly or indirectly welcome it.

Many women who fall into this group are flirtatious but not necessarily promiscuous and such thrive on feelings of being desirable to members of the opposite gender.

In some special cases however, such women have partners who don’t cherish them or complain about their figure or features and so their self-esteem suffers trauma and bleed regularly and when such finds someone who offers her balm of Gilead via comments (which could be wholesome or noisome) they welcome with their whole minds and their hearts smile to no end.

Whereas you might be spewing up – from your tummy into your mind. And under this context it’s not harassment because both are on the same page where one is giving and the other gladly taking but who says not both are doing same.

The woman could say, “If not because it’s forbidden I’d have slapped and sand-papered you to the level where your wife sees you tears will drop from her eyes and she’ll come to my house to fight me for injuring her hubby beyond remedy but I’ll tell her she should thank me at least I only turned you to fairly-used item I didn’t snatch you from her.”

Incidentally you may not be around when she was saying such and doing her own and when the man comes back to retaliate you may witness.

BUT that doesn’t mean they are sleeping with each other though both enjoy dirty-talking and teasing and many therapists may label such ‘extramarital affairs’ because it involves nude emotions and feelings though genitals are absent and this is inappropriate and beyond the border of morals, ethics and marriage.

Finally the difference here is also the dichotomy between rape and consensual sex and why forceful carnal knowledge of someone is labeled ‘rape’ but consensual sex isn’t, regardless of the age disparity between the intimates.

However if one of them is under-aged then it comes under the file ‘sexual abuse or molestation’ (a helpless victim here) even if such didn’t perceive it as such.

A 16-year-old girl sleeping with a 30 year-old man (note that the man’s age could be lesser or more) is filed under molestation though the girl could say they are in love and dating and she intends to marry him in few years time.

That’s my candid but humble opinion on this delicate issue.

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olayemi

I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.

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