Are you a plus or minus to your family and society?
Now does the person try to form armies against you by painting you bad so that her audience can label you and inject their bile, insults and venom in you?
And that makes the stress worse-off so if you choose ‘yes’ here please note that as well.
Is it in the habit of such to convert your ‘good’ to molehill and ‘bad’ to mountains? This point is crucial, essential so please don’t disregard as well.
Now take a close look at skilled gossips and you’ll see that they hardly say negative things about themselves and their loved ones … now should you have someone in your family who seamlessly blackmails you please keep this point in the bank.
If you complain about these attitudes and such remains unapologetic and unrepentant – what other variables do you need as convictions?
Now take a critical look at someone and her arguments (perhaps in your office maybe class, church, home) and if such hardly criticize or condemn others but keeps criticizing the bad someone is doing to him or her and critique and believe me if I say many things will be revealed.
As an apprentice-student perhaps the reputation of your boss is paying your school fees … but if he makes you go late to school, doesn’t allot you time to do your assignment or read, or deliberately makes you go late when you have exams – that’s his character. Beware!
Now if the apprentice fails at school and his boss calls his parents and tells them their son wasn’t serious in school and so he stopped sponsoring his education and advised them to let him be a full-time apprentice … and they acquiesce without finding out what really happened, maybe they even went as far as punishing the poor boy and labeling him bad before his friends, family and relatives then such parents are insensitive!
Many individuals, families grapple with stressors and a stressor is someone or something who’s a perpetual source of stress to another.
Ironically if the stressor is human and crafty, her sharp practices coupled with the inhuman traits in him or her would make her appear like the victim and then turn the victimized to stressor and tormentor.
Now if the stressor believes her stress and that of her team aren’t big enough such could use blackmail as tool to advance her evil machination and should we have ‘family police’ ready to carry our painstaking research many cases of economic, sexual abuse, couple with health issues … will come to limelight.
As a life coach I know and strongly believe we need science in our relationships and we need to introduce same for a better world. I know many of my analogies ring diverse bells in the minds of my audience.
Don’t forget our mandate is to impact humanity and that’s enriching lives across miles.
Now the person could put on the cloak of a philanthropist who wants to do charity for humanity and then tell families, friends, neighbours … that his friend, maybe partner, parents, son or daughter is preventing him from doing same because (s)he’s always demanding from him and she had gone broke. Meanwhile such could even be the architect behind the misfortune of the other party. So many case-studies.
Now the armies (s)he had created overtime will come to war and unknowingly, innocently fight her battle by accusing, abusing and insulting the innocent other. How bad!
The stressor may end up giving the victim health issues and please note NOT all domestic violence acts are actually documented and a stressor in a family may not attack you directly but mentally and overtime the protracted stress could lead to serious health issues, now which law-court is ready to handle this special case when there are numerous other ‘tangible cases’ waiting and many more loading ….
Interestingly before you condemn your wife, pause and analyze the allegations before you, before you label your husband and file for divorce, take a break, wait, find time to rest and relax seek second opinions especially from professionals if possible family psychologist.
As a law-court judge, before you sentence that man or woman to life imprisonment … ask for second opinions in case emotions had overwhelmed you thereby making you ignore the facts and when facts and figures go blind fiction become visible.
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