‘Resolving Issues in Intimacy Without Rupturing Tissues.’

Say no to all forms of domestic violence. (credit: social media)

Physicians attack diseases not patients hosting the disease; psychologists, therapists, counselors … attack issues in lives and families not tissues.

Now if the drama above was brought to your attention for possible intervention don’t ever make the mistake of taking sides even if you know the results of the offender vs the offended upload 10-0.

You stay neutral all through in other to be effective and productive in your intervention. They are not your pupils and you’re not their teachers so no tutoring or nagging. Once you introduce criticism you’re already part of the war but you’re a peacemaker not ally or mercenary.

Identify the remote cause – habitual aggression, extra-marital affairs, joblessness/lack of money, bedroom issues, kitchen palaver, lack of attention/affection … also note that one variable could trigger more and many variables in the end.

There’s usually ‘a roar’ beneath every ‘bark’ so what’s the underlying issue that made your wife explode when you said you won’t be available to pick Junior in crèche today? Bearing in mind that she’d informed you more than a week ago that her best friend’s younger sister is doing convocation and so you should stand in the gap for her – by going to pick Junior!

Now did you realize that many of such scenarios had happened in the past and she opted for next available option without nagging or exploding! What did you do? What did she do?

Why did your hubby screamed at you on the dinner table because your meal had less salt? Remember salt was 10% short 3 months earlier but he never said a word until you voiced it and he simply said, “I’d eaten your meals more than 2000 times and you made distinction more than 1900 times so why should I complain?” So why is he complaining now?

In some special cases the culprit could be displacement in other words transfer of aggression – from work, school and so on. Jack’s boss got him angry at the office and the anger had filled a barrel and so ‘he must’ release the fuel to contain fire outbreak in him and so he injects you with bile ….    

In resolving your issues in marriage try and find the remote cause of your misunderstandings even if you need to see specialists.

@ image:

At first sight @ image I know many of us will say, “This is a wicked woman,” because we see an aggressive woman and base our judgment on her noisome behaviour but many times we’re wrong but all of us are guilty of this.

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olayemi

I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.

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