Marriage is a major life event!

Adams and LaraComrade Adams Oshiomole, Governor Edo State (South-South Nigeria) and his lovely wife former Miss Lara Forte.

Love and Relationship vary across societies. This type of intimate marital-relationship is common in Africa but in America it’s vice versa, in other words the bride may be far older than the groom.

Wishing the Oshiomoles our belated conjugal bliss!

Fate at Dawn

Mid adult couple on armchair in new home
Kayode and Ammma

Anonymous lovers? No, now revised and so evolved to ‘Fate at Dawn.’ Fate is magical for it works like magic. Many times faith trigger miracles, but miracles sometimes happen in the absence of faith? Hmmmmm, I call that mother of all miracles. Did you remember that you reluctantly went for that job interview and forgot about it completely for you felt it was another basket trying to capture and marry well-water! But lo and behold two weeks later you got the job! That’s a miracle in the absence of faith! It has happened to many of us if not all of us at one time or the other.

He was Kayode Oyekunle from Abeokuta, Nigeria. ‘Abe okuta’ a Yoruba terminology literally means ‘Under the rock,’ the ancient city got its name from the fact that it had diverse overhead rocks interlocking and interspersing its major landscapes. And rocks became the trademark and logo of Abeokuta. Continue reading Fate at Dawn

360-DEGREE TRIP AROUND RELATIONSHIPS

Couple

ROMANCE THE NATIVE WAY.

The elite don’t have monopoly of romance though their kind of romance may be sophisticated and more expensive. Baba Aduke in Akue (Akure) may not have the resources to go on vacation with his wife to The Bahamas but he knows and understands the romantic needs of his olori and that romance needs not be expensive to be effective. He sits in his verandah every moonlit-night to kiss his wife’s heart. Yes he puts Aduni’s head on his lap and fondles her shuku.

Continue reading 360-DEGREE TRIP AROUND RELATIONSHIPS

FREQUENTLY/UNIQUELY ASKED RELATIONSHIPS QUESTIONS (FARQ)

FREQUENTLY ASKED (RELATIONSHIP) QUESTIONS II:

Q: I’ve been married for ten years with four female children now my husband is threatening and ready to marry another woman if I don’t give him a male child what do I do?

A: Talk to the person your husband respects so much, who’s not gender-biased and let him organize a meeting perhaps in his house with you, your hubby and family doctor.

Q: is church the best place to find one’s future partner?

A: It could be the best but ironically it could be the worst, it all depends on the PERSON not the PLACE though the place over time could transform the person.

Q: Why do men sometimes have mistresses who are far below their wives in social class, beauty, intellect and the like?

A: Variety (not necessarily the best or worst) is the spice of (sex) life for promiscuous and sexually adventurous men.

Q: I’m in a dilemma, he wants sex and threatens to leave should I continue to refuse him but I don’t want to lose him neither do I want to lose ‘her’ please help, I’m confused.

A: Action they say speak louder than words. In a nutshell, he values sex more than a future with you otherwise he won’t trade or threaten to mortgage your future union on the altar of sex. I think he sees you more as a mistress than the mother of his future children. You’re doing the right thing so don’t borrow the smell of cockroach to woo the Tasmanian devil (a notoriously stinking animal) – if you do you’ll discover in the long run that the Tasmanian devil desire fresh scent not foul smell.

Q: My elder sister is single at 35! For about seven years I couldn’t count the number of men that proposed marriage to her but unfortunately she was too proud and choosy to give anyone a chance now she wants any available man to marry but none seems to be interested in her, how do I help her, your advice is needed.

A: They say when the desirable isn’t available, the available becomes the desirable but unfortunately none is even available much less talk of ‘the desirable’ that’s the version of Karma afflicting your sister. Nonetheless, now that she’s swallowed some humility pills, as a caring sister, give her the dose of patience! Not every available man is her ‘Adam,’ her man will come when he will. Marriage is a very delicate yet crucial issue in life because it dictates not only the quality of our lives, quantity as well!

Q: I’ve a housemaid I’ve been sponsoring her education for the past five years but to my chagrin her step-mother came around and took offence for she told me categorically to stop her education otherwise she would take her away, your advice is sacrosanct!

A: Money motivates humans much more than most variables in life therefore enlighten her on the benefits of educating the poor girl to her family; in addition increase the girl’s salary 50 per cent (if you can afford it) on the condition that the girl continues with her education uninterrupted. This is likely to make her dance to your tune. Scientifically our planet is (almost) round, spiritually as well because the good and evil men do go (round) but usually come back. God will pay you back, I can assure you that!

Q: My wife used to be a great cook but now her food is no longer appealing (in fact, now appalling) yet my friends could miss their favourite premier league matches just to relish her meal, what’s wrong with me?

A: Much as I hate answering questions with questions, I’ll in your case! Are you still in love with her? What are the opinions of your children in this case? Do you’ve a mistress somewhere? If yes perhaps she’s spends the whole day grooming (not preparing) your meal in order to outwit your wife and win over your tummy as well? After all, they say the way to a man’s heart is through his tummy. Above all, search your heart, ‘tongue’ conscious and subconscious mind and try to fix the problem.

Q: I’m 29, I’ve been dating my rich boyfriend for the past five years but it appears he’s not ready for marriage so one of my friends advised me to trap him into marriage by deliberately getting pregnant for him, do you think this strategy will work in my favour?

A: Only cheap, insecure women use pregnancy as a bait to lure men into marriage and most times they live to regret it. Add value to all facets of your life, believe in not just yourself, your future as well and if it’s money that’s so enticing about him what stops you from making yours?

Olayemi J Ogunojo is a relationship cum life coach should you’ve issues in your relationships feel free to contact me.

FREQUENTLY/UNIQUELY ASKED RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS

Q: I’m a petroleum engineer; I want my first son to study petroleum engineering or Geology but he loves Botany, how can I change his mind?

A: If he loves, enjoys and good at Botany, please let him go ahead and study it. Fulfillment or self-actualisation is so significant in life that we shouldn’t deny ourselves or others the right to it. You might be thinking that it doesn’t make economic sense to study Botany in our society but the greatness of a man is not premised on the course he studied in college but the course he chose to follow in life. Therefore, let him follow his heart but be there to guide and instruct him.

Q: My husband is an alcoholic, he drinks more than fish; our family doctor had warned him several times to desist from this ignominious lifestyle to no avail how do I stop him from this shameful habit?

A: I discovered that in this part of the world counsellors are left to lie ‘fallow’ because their services are being duplicated by non-professionals: confidantes, friends, relatives, neighbours, colleagues … in circumstances that ideally need their professional skills so they are hardly consulted. But remember that fishermen don’t represent their countries in the Olympics though they’re good swimmers. The exception to this rule is that the very enlightened and pragmatic people don’t downplay the services of counsellors. I believe you belong to this class so convince your husband to go with you to go see a counsellor.

Q: My girlfriend is such a goddess in beauty, very intelligent and a wifely material: great friend, partner and lover but the problem with her is that she’s dirty, I reserve the details in fairness to her but her dirty lifestyle pisses me off? I often find it difficult to eat her meals. How do I correct this anomaly?

A: Open and honest communication is so crucial, very essential to the overall success of every relationship. To this end, voice out your fears to her in confidence, in a friendly mood and mode. Above all be there for her, support her through motivation and reinforcement as she works on this major weakness of hers.

Q: I want my wife and I to teach our children our mother tongue by speaking it to them but my wife detest it with passion on the grounds that they teach them in school with English not our mother tongue, please enlighten her!

A: English has the potential to be the 21st century ‘holocaust’ if we’re not careful! In other words, it could extinct our mother tongues in Anglophone Africa. The elites should be the ones championing this cause but ironically they are the ones challenging it. The essence of education is emancipation so it’s quite ironic to see the educated trapped helplessly in a self-imposed intellectual gaol. If you’re ashamed of what belongs to you then you’re ashamed of yourself. Education brings to our conscious awareness, our rights which we must protect and preserve. Let your wife know that it’s ignorance that sells her birthright not knowledge.  Learning two or more languages broadens our minds and intellect, it fosters tolerance, expands our frontiers, widens our horizons and increase our opportunities qualitatively and quantitatively. One language spoken is one dictionary and encyclopedia of the culture of people that own the language. Your children’s minds will be sharper, broader, deeper if they’re bilingual or multilingual. Apart from it being an intimidating CV, it will help them socially, linguistically, mentally and psychologically. Mother tongues make people love, identify and reckon with their roots. Above all, prepare your children for the eventful journey ahead so empower, equip them with intellectual weaponry I can assure you they will need it in life.