I accessed the war (social media) between a housewife and her hubby’s mistress few days back and feel the need to input some instructions and extend to married and singles.
Understandably extramarital affair bites big but you’ve got to contain and tame your emotions.
In love and life our neighbours impact us the most – talk of your spouse, parents and siblings, landlords, tenants, boss, colleagues, co-workers, classmates … and by extension next-door and/or next-house neighbours.
Now if your significant others give you stress by introducing a stressor into your life which could be your hubby’s mistress, wife’s boyfriend, maid …. learn to resolve your issues first things first.
Dialogue with your significant other and if successful (s)he takes care of the external variables.
Many men are pathologically promiscuous and no matter how good their home is they will still go into extra-marital affairs but many men were actually pushed into it by their wives.
As a wife grappling with extramarital affairs, examine your heart and mind in details perhaps you were unjustly denying him sex, that’s not an excuse for extramarital affairs anyway. Maybe you no longer take care of yourself as you used to.
Now being slim doesn’t mean you’re sexy to your hubby and being plus-sized doesn’t mean you are. If he likes you slim and you maintain your svelte silhouette but not hygienic you’ve got an issue on your hand, perhaps he likes the ample flesh on your body but you don’t bother to smell nice, look good … you’re tempting him.
Perhaps you nag too much – this is a serious marital issue.
Now where your hubby sees parasite in his home and paradise outside because another woman is sensitive to his needs and understanding, and pretty caring he may likely vote for the mistress over you and she automatically overthrows you and presides over his heart.
Many times mistresses are gifted in treating men like kings … they pamper them with love, shower them with romance and make their ‘home’ little paradise cradled in life.
But what many men don’t know is that the outside woman needs a partner, money, companion, and maybe hubby and will certainly puts her best foot forward … and once you marry her or add ‘baby mama’ to her title you might see her true colours and the heaven she’s been giving you she’ll withdraw and then bless you with hell; lo and behold your wife will dramatically turn to an angel.
After all her torment in comparison could be one-tenth that of her rival (your baby mama) but the deeds had been done and you can’t turn back the hands of time. How pathetic!
Mistresses at times don’t have jobs, babies … and so their time and energy are untapped, intact which makes them have plenty time to make lovely meals and enough energy to satisfy and please an ideal man in bed.
Many times it’s unfair to compare mistresses with wives.
Nonetheless some mistresses are truly wonderful but unfortunate with men … and overtime they become desperate and any man could be ‘the man’ which makes them fail woefully in this context, after all there are many single men, divorced men, including those who practice polygamy and want more wives.
If you’d examined yourself thoroughly and you’re not found wanting then you may consider other possible interventions but DON’T go and fight your hubby’s mistress – you never said ‘I do’ to her but your hubby, if however your hubby refused to quit then he may not deserve you after all and you choose whether to stay or quit!
The woman whose hubby uses contraceptives religiously, correctly and consistently may not be vulnerable to STIs etc but one who swims in all rivers – regardless of depth and size and never puts on his life-jacket is at risk and also endangering his loved-ones – wife and kids.
Above all faithfulness is the best insurance against STIs et al.
Women have their issues yes I know but as a man extramarital affairs do more harm than good to your home, wife and life.
Before I conclude this article, what I found most interesting in the whatsapp-conversation between the housewife in question and mistress is the fact that the mistress labelled the housewife ‘ashawo’ many times – so much so that I almost mistook the housewife for mistress! Hmmmm the irony of life!