The Soaps Your Children Air About You in Public.

Pupils of Taadel Private School, Okota Lagos (taadel.com)

Children are JJCs yet their mouths won’t stop over loading and over speeding and since they are just emerging from crudity, ignorance … their raw personalities make them express their minds the way things are or better still the way they see things.

Children are immature and it’s not uncommon for them to release ‘classified information’ in public but smart parents and nice schools instill discipline in them early enough.

Let’s access some of them:

“My mummy’s mouth is too sharp and she abuses my daddy for coming home late and my daddy teaches her home training with dirty slap. Ah my mummy will abuse him again and sometimes throw very cold water or book or remote on him and then run to her room and lock herself inside and will continue to abuse him,” says Azuka to his classmates.

“My daddy is a prayer army o, ah your daddy can’t pray at all. My own daddy prays very well and my mummy is good at saying, ‘Amen, amen, amen,’ and her head will be shaking like leaf!” says Biodun to his teacher at a CRK-class.

“My mummy and I like rice but my daddy hates rice and anytime my mummy and daddy fights that night it’s rice, even God knows!” Monica gossiping to Jacinta, her playmate in church.

 “Many nights my daddy always tells my mummy ‘Babe what’s up? Let’s go now or do you have headache again?’

Sometimes my mummy will smile at him and reply ‘not now!’ at another time she’ll say ‘go and meet your mistress that won’t let us have enough money at home. Or you think you’re not a suspect? I’ll catch you believe me unless you repent,’

At another time she will say ‘is it food or air or water’ and when my daddy leaves for his room she will say ‘yeye man’ and will later tell her junior sister aunty Tosin to take us to bed and will go and join him. I think they say children need more sleep than adults?” Bunmi was asking Funmi her classmate (as they enter the school bus) with the hope of getting answers to her queries.

“Your daddy isn’t rich at all. If you see the money my daddy brought out of his bag yesterday night you’ll know that my daddy can tell Dangote to leave his spaghetti factory and come and start working for him and Dangote will be happy. Very soon I’ll leave you people and Kano for Abuja or London,” says Abdullahi to Mohammed on the football pitch in their neighbourhood.

“Ah my mummy can cook anything. Just give her small money and the table will be full with delicious food. I will marry my mummy with my husband so that she can come and be cooking for us when I marry!” Onome was lecturing her playmates.

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