The John Dumelos at their traditional wedding.
Erica and Nosa are good friends of the bride, Nana.
Erica, a Ghanaian lady chatting with Nosa, her Nigerian friend and colleague as the former drives to the venue of the reception #Nako 2013.
Nosa: So why did you reject Frimong’s proposal?
Erica: I can’t marry him!
Nosa: But you said he was a very good man.
Erica: (grinning and frowning at the same time) he was as boyfriend but bad as husband ….
Nosa: Interesting. That statement should enter the Guinness Book. Anyway how, why did you say that?
Erica: He’s Mr. Rains, he baths women with his money like there was no tomorrow.
Erica: (smiling) Nosa you’re a crafty craft and when you upload your monosyllables you want to download the whole syllabus of the issue at stake, but today I won’t say a word.
Nosa: I’m sorrrrrry girlfriend. You know I’m your good friend and I always want the very best for you.
Erica: (looking right, left, right as if she wanted to cross the highway anyway it was love highway) See I don’t, can’t trust Frimpong; he chases skirts better than outskirts chase city centres in developments. I can’t leave him with my best friend, house-help … and you know jealous people easily go on honeymoon with stress and stress kills indirectly. The only women that could be with him and I won’t be under pressure will definitely be his mum, my mum or our daughters and aside those ones, none else!
Nosa: You’re kidding me!
Erica: Not on my life! he’s got a gluttonous horsewhip that’s no respecter of any member of the female gender, no thanks to lust whipping his mind.
Nosa: You’re a bad girl and you were stomaching his money all along.
Erica: And he was sleeping with me all along. Remember he once gave me stomach. So it’s 50-50, in fact 60-40.
Nosa: People like you end up marrying men who could punch anything in skirt … and the souvenirs – black eye, swollen jaws. To add insult to his injury better still yours he’ll see church rats as the wealthiest in town ….
Erica: Point of correction. Church rats are no longer poor. In fact ….
Nosa: (interrupting as well) Not done yet. Such men won’t work, they rely on your wages or salary and dish slaps, kicks, punches regularly.
Erica: That’s the type of man I see in Frimpong should anything happen to his fortune or business.
Nosa: Good God. That’s too pessimistic of you.
Erica: Evil devil. Realistic of me.
Nosa: So for how long will you wait now?
Erica: As long as long isn’t longer than Longman. You see I desire a man who knows where he’s going.
Nosa: And you? Remember you had one stomach for Frimpong; two for freestyle before you left him for the former so do you know where you’re going?
Erica: You know I’d since denounced the lifestyle and I’m healing and heading to church.
Nosa: So you want JJC church brother. The one you can push here and there.
Erica: No. I’ll meet my type in church. The one that has seen it all and wants to stay away from all but one.
Nosa: Oh, never thought of that. I wish you well. I’ve got your back friend. But know and note you may not meet such. It could be midway – church bro. today, club-boy tomorrow and so on. He’s simply reminding you of your present and past.
Erica: (laughing) No sir, Nosa. You’ll never change. God sees my heart and He sees a true sister. Just pray for me and wish me well.
Nosa: I do girlfriend. May God help you and I, now come give me a hug!