DBH (Drama in Buses on Highways: Titi the Student) II - olayemiogunojo.com

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DBH (Drama in Buses on Highways: Titi the Student) II

Trips add their fun to festive occasions. (credit: social media)

Taiwo Alata and Kunle Ajisegiri were two corps members sitting in the bus. Taiwo has one medical challenge called Polisticulosis and his billionaire dad imports a kind of air and food which he bites and sips to contain his restlessness.

He opens up to his friend Kunle, “Nigeria is ajebo but Naija is Ajegunle? And seriously speaking we need to change our name from Nigeria to Naija!” Kunle looked bewildered and released the cork preventing words from coming out of his mouth, “Nigeria. Naija. What do you mean please?”

On hearing that another passenger opened up, “Nigeria is the only country called Nigeria in the whole world!” that was unique and so the statement itched the minds of everybody that heard the statement and they were all surprised, even the driver behind-the-wheel wasn’t left out and they all wanted to scratch off the discomfort but the man went mute. Permanently mute.

One passenger felt he was a politician traveling incognito, another felt he’d over-stressed his brains and had to misbehave to stay sane; one thought he had gulped down some alcohol before leaving home …. 

Titi voiced, “Naija is a gallery of award-winning actors without Oscars to their credit yes hustlers, but Nigeria is ajebo,” Everybody was surprised except one person – Titi herself because the voice was in her mind and nobody heard her.

Now let’s see the dramas of the actors:

Some travelers wrestle with hot water in their bladder and keep repressing same until one of them gets to his threshold and finally opens up, “Driver please I want to wet the ground, please stop, please o it’s dropping gradually in my … in my …!”

And the final word refuses to come out and keeps hanging, pending.

Note, the statement in italics could be exaggeration on the part of the passenger and the driver may pretend not to hear and exaggerates by pushing his muscles on the accelerator and speeding the more but in the end the passenger usually wins if (s)he doesn’t relent or at times vested interest comes to play.

“Driver, didn’t you hear the calls? Please wait jare!”

Yet another, “Baba if this babe wets her body we’ll deal with you!”

And the bully didn’t allow the words to go cold before dropping his own, “Ogbeni I dey beat anyhow o!”

The driver finally brings the bus to a halt and the moment the passenger receiving the strokes of the cane steps out many more will stylishly disembark – one person becoming two, three, four, five … ah so you guys need a commander!

Some commuters fight with their drivers but this is no social media but real world settings, reality and very risky.

If the fights gets too heated the driver may threaten, “Do you realize I’m the one driving this bus? I can deal with you!” The passenger might respond, “Are you not in the bus as well? Oh oh, if you feel you can disappear, I’ll grab your clothes and both of us will land in the bush! See nobody will see us there let alone separate us and I’ll deal with you!” 

That statement could steal the guts of the driver and his tongue might go slow and sober but it could also fuel his fire, pouring more adrenaline into his blood and he might explode beyond normalcy.

Meanwhile other passengers had been trying all along to douse the tension to no avail until one passenger suddenly hits the seat with a metal object and roars with voice than can dwarf Goliath’s

“Driver so you don’t know a soldier is in this bus. You wan sleep for barracks.”

Lo and behold silence comes in and steal the noise, voices away, dramatically.

And the driver cowers, seriously minding his business and his ego, and body drops low like the one piloting a luxury bus. So he faces the road, the passenger too silent forever.

Na wao! So we can behave!

Please don’t bother to check up Polisticulosis – you’ll understand it here but later.

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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.
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