Bedtime Café (‘Counsellors and Clients’)

Communication is password to forgiveness, intimacy and friendship in marriage. (credit: social media)

Sharon had told her best friend, Sayo about her challenges and dissatisfaction in marriage and the latter, a marriage counselor decided to fight her friend’s cause; so she visited Sharon’s home one weekend and since they had planned the arrangement Sharon wasn’t around but her partner, Kunle was.

It was a script but it appeared as if ‘one thing led to another’ and before long Sayo had started discussing likes and dislikes of women in marriage.

Sayo: as a renowned marriage counselor I received diverse complaints on marital issues on a daily basis. Did you know that money, sex, food, house chores impact marriage massively.

I know you guys are comfortable and I want to believe you’re smart as far as savings and investments are concerned. But sex too is very crucial in marriage. And many times men feel they are experts in bed but only in fantasy not in reality.

Though we’ve got our favourite meals, we eat all types of food and this makes our favourites retain their No. 1 spot, don’t forget many times familiarity breeds contempt, and if we eat same meal 24/7 they might lose their medal and spice.

That’s how sex is too, to many of us. An ideal woman can talk about everything under the earth but sometimes she’s not too vocal about bed matters and would rather suffer in silence than hurt their partner’s ego, but one hurting is all hurting in marriage.

Kunle I hope you know that your wife too is a woman like all others and they like to dance to R&B, pop, hip-hop … in bed.

There are as many positions in bed as there are diverse human experiences, so don’t just be the boss in bed let her be the first lady as well.

I’m a woman and I know that women enjoy sex better when they are allowed to express themselves and dance to your music in bed, just the way they desire.

Virtually all women I interacted with liked missionary positions but many more fantasized with many other positions they never practised, and of course they cherished woman-on-top positions and I always tell men what I know so they can have a fulfilling sex life and marriage overall.

Kunle: Thank you Sayo I really appreciate your concern.

[Not long after Sayo left Sharon sauntered in and Kunle later engaged her in a chit-chat].

Kunle: Sayo was here earlier on and we spoke at length. Now Sharon did you realize that many women fantasize about woman-on-top position in bed?

Sharon: Really! I don’t know!

Kunle: Women are competing with men in all ramifications of life and someday they might want to change their status from ‘mother’ to ‘father’; ‘wife’ to ‘husband’ and even change their title from ‘Mrs. to Mr.’ yet one woman was telling me that woman-on-top position should be allowed by men. Sayo your friend has read beyond university to polyversity yet she’s not a Prof; and perhaps she even thinks I’m a dullard. Now dear I know you’ll agree with me that sex is a spiritual experiment and experience and many times it involves buying and selling and if your wife begins to drive you in bed she will drive you from bed to business, ATM, accounts and the moment you collect your salary you‘ll hand over to her and even thank her for accepting the little money you could afford. Babe, trust me I’ll never accept the modern version of efo riro.

Sharon: (feeling disappointed) Kunle I can’t believe all these dropped from your mouth. You better leave your marketing job and Lagos and go back to the village. Bush man.

Kunle: See, I’ve not given you the privilege to drive me in bed o and you’d started calling me a bush man o and believe me I will never grant you!

Sharon: Did I say I wanted it

Honesty and trust lead to fulfillment in marriage.

In rounding off, please know and note that your wife is bone-of-your bone and flesh-of-your flesh and as your better-half she deserves your very best.

Lovely night’s rest.

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