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Bedtime Café (Bedtime Matters)

Bath uploads calm bed (credit: stutterstock)

Toilet soaps are meant for skins; laundry for clothes but clothes wrap skins. Many people clean up immediately after getting home from work and some observe same before they crash on their beds.

Restroom and bath do two things – they buy and sell our wastes and dirt respectively and many people observe same (delete dirt and release wastes) before going out on a daily basis and since they’d programmed their bodies the latter obey the commands to the letter.

And that’s why some people never use their office restroom except to send rivers of waters out of their bladders.

One of my cousins once told an older family member and I the drama he experienced as an undergraduate. There was water scarcity in his hostel and a student who could no longer control his system and couldn’t access the bush decided to weather the storm and add his waste to the heap in the restroom so he had climbed the WC and squatted and as he was releasing his own waste to the mass beneath the WC gave way and the poor student went head-to-head with all the wastes.

I’m not sure he was injured, though his injuries were more than blood and trauma. Students gather in earnest, some with cup half-filled with water, some with bowl with one-tenth portion of water … and voice, “Sorry, this is the amount of water I can afford!” and such will pour on him. Another will emerge, “Why didn’t you hold on a little longer or use the bush? Anyway this is my widow’s mite,” and he’ll pour on him and so on.

I don’t know if he earns a nickname from that incident but that would be too painful. My cousin told us the story more than 20 years ago and the incident had happened earlier and no GSM and selfies.

Now did you know that if such had happened in our time some students could record, do a video of him and post on social media to reach out to the authority? Now is that not worse-off than the supposed offence of the authority? How horrible!

It’s Bedtime Café so let’s talk about bed. Who discovered beds? Did the inspiration come from birds? After all birds are bed-makers and they religiously build nests for their chicks and they use twigs, sticks, feathers ….

The quality of your bed depends on the weight of your pocket as well as your taste, and bed ideally defines your marital status and if you’re single you’re likely to share your bed with none but the person in the mirror but if you’re married it could be bed for two.

Your bed-mate typically is your soul-mate but many years ago you were total strangers.

Jessica had knocked on Dave’s door looking for Lisa (Dave’s next-door neighbour in his condo) but Lisa had just moved. Jessica was alien to Dave and the best he could do was give her the address of the nearest hotel with some cash but today Jessica and Dave share the same bed.

So what happened between then and now? Update and feedback which is communication! They had interacted and overtime got to know each other; love entered, trust developed, dating threw her tools in the works … and they finally became man and wife.

In rounding off, how and where did you meet your spouse, maybe fiancé or fiancée?

Meet your better-half in true life, even those who say they first met theirs in dreams later meet them in real life, for marriage isn’t dreams but reality.

Sweet dreams to you all.


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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.
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