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‘Initial Gragra in Love and Life’.

Bonding time between parents and their baby (Grace Huang)

Initial gragra is context-based and it could mean being too forward and flamboyant in one case, or too expressive in another or even childish in some cases; it could also mean ‘reserved’. Initial gragra actually contrasts inertia because it’s a passing phase and so very transient.

After resuming in school from home many students have their pockets full and boasts of anointed bank accounts. So they dine out and those who don’t, eat ‘luxury’ in their various apartments.

Instead of going to the market to buy fresh fish or meat some actually buy suya (Nigerian meat kebab) and put in stew, some take their garri with suya + sugar and milk, many become customers of frozen chicken, wine and dine in restaurants … some buy airtime, data and seamlessly, endlessly watch movies, musicals on their phones.

When Bisola is loaded she usually calls people who won’t hear about her wedding if she got married   … Iskilu Isiaka hones his wooing skills on phones calling numerous girls, babes and ladies.

And all these dramas continue while stock lasts … note the ‘stock’ there is money not goods.

And when they are gradually running out of funds they adjust and adapt. Naija spirit there. Many begin to cut their coat according to their clothes.

This trait is seen not just in students, working class as well and all these point to the fact that our tastes can’t be tamed for they are wide and wild and only money contains their adventurous spirit.

When money peaks our tastes we pick luxury.

A man driving #2m worth of car could go for #20m if he gets richer … and it goes on and on like that!

Shola just met Susan and he was trying to reach her to lay the groundwork that will host his toasting (wooing) machinery but she keeps ignoring his calls – initial gragra there.

Matter of months she will run down her battery just chatting with the same man whose missed calls, stress, bile was her own trophy, bliss, smiles …. How interesting!

“I called to know how you’re doing? Hope traffic didn’t delay you too much ….” Susan inquires. 30 minutes later she calls Shola again, “Hello … hello, oh I just forgot why I called you … sorry … anyway have you eaten?”

At the outset Susan once hid in her office restroom to avoid seeing Shola just to score some points, convert to resources and proudly save in ‘Women’s Bank of Love’.

To expatiate by argument Shola once covered 500km (but via air) to see Susan but she hid after telling her colleagues to tell him she wasn’t in the office … months later the same woman (Susan) travelled 500km (a 8 hour trip) for she travelled by road and then she says, “My mind keeps troubling and telling me you were strong so I came just to see your face!” Why didn’t she go just to see his voice.

Please delete the ‘My mind keeps troubling and telling me you were strong‘ part; she doesn’t want to appear cheap and interestingly in trying to be too expensive in love many women lose out in the end … and later enter desperate mode (for marriage) and then become vulnerable to predatory men.

Ngozi just delivered of her first baby and told her best friend, Chioma that she would never sleep in the same bedroom with her hubby again let alone allow him come close to her but Chioma an expert in labour-room with 5 kids (and counting) replied her,

“That’s initial gragra JJC Syndrome afflicting you. I was once in your shoes and I did worse for I actually told my own hubby I wasn’t going home with him again and that we’d do the naming at his in-laws’ (my parents) I even said alternatively I’ll get my own apartment …. You won’t believe about 4 weeks later I’d started swimming in baby-infested waters the same baby that made me give up on sex!”

Many women in their late teens and early 20s to mid 20s wear the cloak of initial gragra but when they start approaching their late 20s they suddenly become conscious and cast old behaviours away.

Many men spend big on their women at dating through courtship to honeymoon but back down in marriage proper.

They take them to the movies, shopping mall, expensive restaurants … and show their romantic sides and the poor girl’s head swells up and go up like balloon only to be punctured in marriage. Initial gragra from men there!

Initial gragra is fun, funny and makes love and life interesting!

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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.
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