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When Money Buys Traffic Offense.

Traffic offense is a serious offense and the consequences could be fatal.

When money buys traffic offense it bails traffic offenders.

Jude was driving and calling at the same time and so one traffic official flagged him down, and with the whole strength in his system he thundered with Goliath voice, “Park. Park. Park!”

The man was roughly 5”7’ in height but the voice that escaped from him was at par with 6”2’ frame which means the voice was far bigger than the owner, bearer.

And ‘Trans Amusement Park’ dropped in Jude’s mind, the traffic offender, in that he knew it was time for excitement and relaxation and merriment.

Jude gestured to the traffic official as he manuovered to park and he talked more in fact for about 20 seconds just to allow the man in uniform to approach him in his car. With or without adrenaline streaming through his system.

Jude’s strategy you will see later.

As the man approached him, Jude brought out a brown envelope and counted five fresh 1000 Naira notes and voiced, “Officer of the Federal Republic, it’s Friday which means it’s weekend, who wan suffer for Naija? Take, give your wife to prepare 7-star fresh fish or 3-star goat meat for the weekend!”

And the heat and anger and hunger for revenge welling in the officer became ice. And alas for some weeks now this officer had been struggling to become a better road-traffic official ….

Now one part of him told him ‘If you collect the money and allow him go scot free, you’re a bad egg!’ and cognitive dissonance (pardon the jargon) sets in, and was welling in him.

That was a big temptation from Jude and the judge was whispering in him, “You’re a bad Nigerian, bad egg, rot in the system if you collect it” and that was a prison in his life, poison in his mind but before he could go ahead he must disarm the allegations of the biological judge and so he countered,

“Our leaders put us in this mess in the first place, and I must be a fool to be proving Saints in the land of sinners? Their own is billions and mine is just kobo in comparison. The ‘share the money’ is not even fair but let me just manage it. Now Jide chop and clean your mouth.”

He had subdued the allegations, accusations of his judge and so he smiled and stretched his hand and collected the money.

“I’m Jude, what about you?”

“I’m Jide!”

“I was talking to my fiancée (Kate) in the UK yeah, talk with her too!” And Jude who had not aborted the call voiced into the earpiece, “My fresh fish, Naija officer wants to say hi,” and he handed the phone to Jide whispering, talk to my wife.

Jide: (smiling sheepishly) Good morning ma … how’s studies, UK, family?

Kate: Hi officer, I’m good but I’m not a student?

Jide: Oh. Ok but I hope your lecturers are doing awesomely well. No strike. No striking. Nothing!

Kate: “Oh, I insist I’m not a student!

Jide: I have my ND and hoping to further my studies. It’s good to study well to become successful in life, please don’t forget that and your husband will be happy with you ….

There are two types of alcohol – the original alcohol and money. Money was the alcohol jazzing Jide.

We are your weekend magazine.

Photo credit: dailytimes.ng

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I won't bore you or box myself by defining who I'm, what I'm or where I'm headed. I AM OLAYEMI JOSEPH OGUNOJO, a Nigerian and World Citizen and a student of the 'University of Life.' If you impart knowledge into every Tayo, Tanko and Tagbo you meet, they will impact every Tom, Dick and Harry they confluence.
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