Holiday Fun and Dramas.
The instruments of OAPs like many musicians is vocals.
We still have diverse guests, visitors in our cities, towns and villages and habits, mannerisms, antics, quirks … are being dropped and exchanged from ears-to-ears; mouths-to-mouths now let’s see how Adeola (9) perceives her grand-mum based on her dialect.
“Mummy, mummy, mummy grandma isn’t Yoruba, she speaks a new language that I don’t understand?” Adeola asks her mum.
And her mum smiled and voiced, “She’s Yoruba, in fact Igbomina-Yoruba, now my daughter you see, there are different types of blue colour – sky blue, royal blue, normal blue and so on but they are all colour blue. That’s how Yoruba is. We have Egba, Eko, Ekiti, Ijebu, Ijesha and so on but they are all Yorubas!
Aminat (7) in Bauchi has been complaining, throwing tantrums since morning, what does she want? Why is she mourning? What did she lose? She’s has been trying to put earrings on her own nose but no hole, oh no, even the owl on letter O in her book could hear her cries which sounds like “OOOOOOOOOOOO!”
So how come she wanted one? Her aunt Faridat had one which she (Faridat) worn proudly for days but she had left Bauchi for Abuja this morning and since then the poor girl had been demanding her own earrings no, nose-ring. Sight was okay for Aminat but hey they say ‘Out of sight is out of mind’ and so Aminat wanted the sight NOW on her own nose.
Be that as it may, two OAPs had asked their guest Debo an employer of labour to tell his audience the lamest excuse one of his employers gave to avoid resuming work after the holidays and he voiced, “My female staff about 9 years ago called me on December 27 to tell me her husband said they were visiting someone, she said, Oga, I’m very sorry, very sorry, sorry sir. My husband said I must go with him to see his sister who took ill and was on admission. He said we would go on December 25 as our own Christmas gift so please sir I won’t be able to come to work today. Now aside the naked lies, her husband had no sister.”
The studio went agog with laughter and the OAPs later told their listening audience (employers, bosses …) to highlight the lies their staff members had once tendered. One of them called inlet’s hear him:
“Good morning … yes I can’t forget the legendary lie and excuse my staff emailed to my ears last night, she says “Oga mi I won’t be able to come to work tomorrow (which is today) I’m heavily pregnant and I’ve been throwing up everywhere, and this morning sickness is disturbing me … now I saw this same staff on Thursday and that’s 6 days ago o, so I said so your baby in the womb suddenly turn 6 days to 6 months and became so BIG and besides I never knew you were pregnant so you’re now a team with Etim? E ti team in bed but you said you wanted to play hard-to-get for 3 more months so you’d (you had) been playing soft to get in bed all along! Morning sickness at night!”
Photo credit: rockcityfmradio.com